Working with Reactivity & Mistrust in EFT: Stage 1 De-escalation to Stage 2 Bonding
Cost:
Date: January 23-24th , 2026
Time: January 23rd: 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM and Saturday, January 24th: 12:00 PM– 6:00 PM
Location: Hybrid – online via Zoom (link will be provided closer to the event) and in person (Balance Arts Studio 151 W 30th Street, 3rd floor “Kemp Room”, New York, NY 10001)
10 CEs Credits (CEUs through TRIEFT)
This advanced, practice-focused course equips therapists to assess and transform mistrust and high reactivity across both Stage 1 and Stage 2 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We’ll map how threat, attachment injuries, and protective strategies (secondary emotion and action tendencies) organize the negative cycle that blocks safety and responsiveness. In Stage 1, you’ll learn to identify pursuer/withdrawer patterns, heighten primary emotion in manageable doses, and reframe the cycle as the common enemy to de-escalate reactivity. In Stage 2, you’ll use precise, body-based, present-process interventions to choreograph Withdrawer Re-Engagement and Pursuer Softening, facilitate corrective bonding events, and consolidate new trust expectations.
Through micro-skill drills, annotated video, structured enactments, and targeted feedback, you’ll refine the EFT Tango, track moment-by-moment markers (e.g., softening signals vs. re-escalation), and tailor interventions for emotional reactivity, trauma, and intersectional stress. You’ll leave with a clear decision tree for what to do when mistrust spikes, how to pace and dose vulnerability, and how to reliably shepherd couples from volatile protection to predictable, safe connection.
This is a unique opportunity to strengthen your confidence, sharpen your interventions, and connect with fellow EFIT therapists in a supportive, learning-focused environment.
Learning Objectives:
By the end of this 10-hour course, participants will be able to:
- Define mistrust and reactivity in attachment terms and describe how they organize a couple’s negative cycle (Understand/Apply).
- Identify at least three Stage-1 markers that indicate readiness to move from de-escalation toward consolidation vs. when to slow down (Apply).
- Use the EFT Tango to heighten and shape primary emotion while reducing secondary reactive moves during Stage 1 (Apply).
- Deliver clear, systemic cycle reframes that locate the problem in the pattern, not the partner (Apply).
- Implement pacing/dosing strategies (slice-thinner, step-in/step-out, pendulate attention) to keep arousal within the therapeutic window (Apply).
- Distinguish process markers for Withdrawer Re-Engagement vs. Pursuer Softening and select fitting interventions for each (Analyze/Apply).
- Structure, launch, and deepen Stage-2 enactments that evoke new reach-and-respond sequences (Create/Apply).
- Facilitate corrective bonding events and name new “trust expectations” explicitly for consolidation (Apply/Evaluate).
- Adapt interventions when trauma history, cultural/racial stress, or power imbalances amplify mistrust and protective reactivity (Apply).
- Use an in-session decision tree to recover from setbacks (rupture, re-escalation) and re-establish safety (Evaluate/Apply).
Workshop Schedule:
Friday, January 23rd: 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM (lunch 12-1PM) and Saturday, January 24th: 12:00 PM– 6:00 PM (break 2-3PM).
TRAINER: James L. Hawkins II, PhD, LPC
Dr. James Hawkins, ‘Doc Hawk’, is a Licensed Counsellor with 11 years of experience and an ICEEFT certified trainer, supervisor, and therapist. He obtained a Master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Ph.D. in Psychology and Counseling. He currently serves as a Clinical Coordinator at a non-profit counseling practice in Northwest Arkansas. James is the founder of Healing Conversations, a training program developed to equip organizations and communities to have productive conversations about race. He is the co-host of two podcasts, The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and The Leading Edge: Transforming Leadership Through Attachment Science. James is a part of the online training program, successinvulnerability.com develop to help EFT therapists and supervisors gain more focus in their clinical work. Doc Hawk brings a passion for helping individuals, couples, families, and communities in relational distress. James is married to his wife, Nicola and together they have five daughters.
Satisfactory Completion:
CEs will be provided only to participants who are registered for both days and attend the full training. Participants must have paid registration fees, signed in, attended the entire seminar, and signed out to receive a certificate. Failure to sign in or out will result in forfeiture of credit for the entire course. Partial credit is not available. No exceptions will be made.
Please note: The event will NOT be recorded.
Accessibility and Support:
NYCEFT is deeply committed to supporting the diverse learning needs of every participant in our trainings. We are very aware that this essentials may be a physically and cognitively demanding experience, involving sustained attention, extended sitting, etc. over many hours. If you feel comfortable, we would love to hear from you if there is anything we can do to make the training more accessible, or if there’s any additional support we can provide.
Disability Access: If you require ADA accommodations please contact our office 30 days Or more before the event. We cannot ensure accommodations without adequate prior notification.
Disclosure statement: There is no conflict of interest or commercial support for this program.
Cancellation Policy: If notified in writing of canceling by January 9th, the fee will be refunded minus $50 administrative fee. Registrations canceled after January 9th are not refundable.
Financial Assistance: If you would like to attend but require a reduced fee, please contact us at infonyceft@gmail.com